i hate myself

i hate myself.

I whisper those words quietly so no one else hears.

They're only for my ears.

Those simple words have plagued me my whole life.

Never pretty enough. Never good enough. Never smart enough.

It’s a voice on my shoulders, in my head, all around me that affects who i am.

And who am i really?

People half my age have a better idea than i do. 

More confidence too. 

But here i am in front of the mirror, wondering what happened to me.

Why can’t i be like that too?

That’s another problem that’s held me back – comparing myself to others.

It makes me hate myself even more.

Suddenly there’s nowhere to hide.

The voice is just around the corner – lurking, waiting for a weak moment.

And there are many.

i need to let go. 

Let go of my imperfections, my mistakes. 

And be me.

I need to have a voice, an opinion and not want to please everyone.

I can’t blend into the crowd any longer.

I need to stand tall on my own.

Then there will be no one left to hate.

I’ll be open and proud of who I am, and what I’ve become.

Love not hate.

Just me.