The Musical Silence of the Green Pastures
The steamy haze was palpable as the sun shined bright without a lingering cloud. A warm breeze whistled by enlightening my senses. I wanted to walk and feel the beauty of the day and the lightness of my step. One foot forward, almost with a bounce, I leaped and sometimes ran. It felt invigorating. I felt alive. Real, and living in the moment. The present.
I approached its entrance and looked out across its green rolling pastures peppered with granite headstones. Its grandness intertwined with solitude spoke volumes. I didn't want to look at the sprawling names, the years, the flowers, the wreaths, the messages to pull at my heart. I want to find her's.
I can't remember that day exactly. It was so cold, the wind whipping across the trees, the maddening tears at why she had to leave so soon that escaped me and we both wept and wept. Nothing made sense. I had no idea where we were in this grand pasture of green that at the time was brown, dead, and worn. I stop at a crossroads and approach the lumpy grass, looking here and there, hoping to see her name. I hear the fluttering of music whispering through the trees - light, breezy, and melodic. Could it be her? I look up at a tree to see wind chimes hauntingly singing, the only sound that echoes across the large expanse. I smile and feel the warm wet stickiness of water slide down one side of my face. I wipe it away and look further down and the rolling hills do not end. I will not find her today. I have to leave. I turn and start to jog back, still looking and hoping yet I see too much -- a My Little Pony by someone's name, toy cars and the sign "Happy 14th Birthday Jack" with a few cupcakes.
I can feel the warm wetness slide down both sides of my face this time.
Why? Why does this world take the young and innocent away from us? It's too much. I run faster, my breathing has quickened, the sweat trickling down my back as I climb up the concrete hill. All of the granite is a blur now as I refuse to turn my head to see and understand further. I take a right out of the endless green and walk on the pavement as cars rumble by on my left. The quiet stillness is shattered as the sounds of life immerse me in their presence. That's okay. I'm okay. Really. I will come back to find her. The silence was too intense today, too loud and penetrating. Let the silence be. Let it live on.
I can't remember that day exactly. It was so cold, the wind whipping across the trees, the maddening tears at why she had to leave so soon that escaped me and we both wept and wept. Nothing made sense. I had no idea where we were in this grand pasture of green that at the time was brown, dead, and worn. I stop at a crossroads and approach the lumpy grass, looking here and there, hoping to see her name. I hear the fluttering of music whispering through the trees - light, breezy, and melodic. Could it be her? I look up at a tree to see wind chimes hauntingly singing, the only sound that echoes across the large expanse. I smile and feel the warm wet stickiness of water slide down one side of my face. I wipe it away and look further down and the rolling hills do not end. I will not find her today. I have to leave. I turn and start to jog back, still looking and hoping yet I see too much -- a My Little Pony by someone's name, toy cars and the sign "Happy 14th Birthday Jack" with a few cupcakes.
I can feel the warm wetness slide down both sides of my face this time.
Why? Why does this world take the young and innocent away from us? It's too much. I run faster, my breathing has quickened, the sweat trickling down my back as I climb up the concrete hill. All of the granite is a blur now as I refuse to turn my head to see and understand further. I take a right out of the endless green and walk on the pavement as cars rumble by on my left. The quiet stillness is shattered as the sounds of life immerse me in their presence. That's okay. I'm okay. Really. I will come back to find her. The silence was too intense today, too loud and penetrating. Let the silence be. Let it live on.
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